We are human beings not human doings.
This is the whole concept behind our Kaleidoscope retreats – to spend more time being and reflecting, not just doing. How would your life change if you could take time off to be and relax instead of only doing? Living is experiencing, feeling, breathing, loving, enjoying – it’s about joy!
We need these moments of just being, because this is when we are present. It’s not thinking about the past or the future. That’s in your brain. It IS experiencing with your senses in real life.
Doing vs. Being: What’s the Difference?
Doing is often “filling the space,” instead of simply being. Doing will never bring you into the flow. Doing is busy-ness without true purpose. It means you are distracted and always dividing your attention with different subjects. While doing one thing, you are thinking that and planning this – multitasking! Hint: If you want a stressful life, keep multitasking.
Being is fully present, in the moment. It’s not checking emails or thinking about the next project while listening to others. That’s only pretending to be there. Being is pure enjoyment, in everything you do, with all your heart, mind, body and soul.
This is what I think BEING is about:
B - be
E - experience
I – innate -identify -ignite – imagine – improve – inspire!
N - nurture
G – grow – growth!
Doing task after task should make you feel accomplished, right? But often that’s not the case. It’s just a form of distraction. Being present in your own life means you are paying attention and focusing on what matters – to YOU.
Being present means you are never worried that you are falling short because you’re “not doing enough.” Of course, it is hard to break this habit of “not enough,” because we learn it when we are children.
Are You Enough? (Of Course You Are!)
Have you noticed that we learn in school to not see the human being as complete and whole? We’re taught to only see the kid that has to perform and stand out in each subject. We’re graded and for some, our value is in that grade! We are given a label, and we grow up thinking that label is true. What about the humble, friendly, curious human beings we are, each of us special and unique and awesome?
This is where we learn it – the concept of being not enough. But guess what? This does not exist! “Being” always assumes everything is there already. But not enough comes from how other people see and describe you – it doesn’t come from within! People assess you or just tell you from their own perspective of – you guessed it - being not enough.
Why do we give other people who don’t feel good enough the power to tell us we’re not enough?
Focus on “the Now” and Big Things Can Happen!
When we feel whole and in the moment, we can accomplish amazing feats and live with great purpose. Purpose for me means being aligned with your values, your soul desires and your strengths.
And interestingly, when do you really perform? When you are being in the flow, when you are being aligned with your goals, your will, and your strengths. The only time to give the best performance you can is in the here and now!
Guess what would happen if an athlete were not fully focused? If he did not give all he has right at the moment of competition? He would not make any difference! But those who are fully in it will make the difference and will win.
Focusing your thoughts means focusing your energy to “being!”
Right here, fully aware, fully present. Aligned with true purpose – your own unique true purpose!
“Being in Doing” Creates Happiness
When people regret something, they regret what they didn’t do. All those moments they think of may have caused less regret if there was being in the doing. Being in doing creates happiness.
“Being” humble and respectful - this an identity thing, not an action! It starts with the idea of what and who you want to be, and it represents itself by doing. Your doing is the visible acting of “being you.”
You ARE stressed - so you appear stressed and “do” stress out yourself and others.
You ARE friendly – so you appear as someone who enjoys and is interested in people.
You ARE loving – so you appear loving and give love.
Being IS your identity – your real you – and each thing you do is governed by that higher identity level. You wouldn’t “do” things that don’t align with some part of your identity.
Living is being and doing (not doing just for doing’s sake)! When you get aligned and “do” consciously, rather than unconsciously, your life will change! You can make the choice to live from your true being.
Other People are not in Charge of Your “Being”
If I decide to work tonight because I love it, or need to finish the project and I am in the flow, that is fine! If I just do it because I am told to? That’s different - I have no ownership of that action – somebody else does.
Being told to do something is the greatest misunderstanding in being. It leads to real frustration because you are not being true to you. Instead, you are only “sponsored and fueled” by others – maybe Mom and Dad, or others who influenced you. Don’t get me wrong, influence is everywhere, and it is not bad per se, but you have to feel and think first - before you do.
Being told by others to “become this,” or “be this” is often a disaster because that is only doing what you’re told, not being who you are.
The question is, where do YOU want to be in 3, 5, or 10 years? Not what do others want you to do or be? Just doing by following others and not reflecting is only misleading and distracting. It does not bring you closer to the real you.
Who do YOU want to BE or become? Your true answer is aligned with your higher self and your purpose and then doing becomes worthwhile, because it is for a reason and connected to your higher self.
Have you ever been around people who can tell you what they do and what they did, but you don’t have a clue who they really are? It’s because they don’t know either! They are just followers. It is easy nowadays to become a follower. In a way, following some things can be good because it helps you learn or differentiate what is good for you personally. But staying true and real starts with yourself and not by copying others.
Don’t Regret the Moments You Missed When You Were Busy Doing
The next time you do something, ask yourself, “Am I in it? Am I really focused? Am I here with all my senses?”
And if you meet people or spend time with them, check in with yourself. Honestly answer, “Am I really there with them? Have I been there? For my children, my wife, my partner, my coworkers?”
That doesn’t mean focusing on them for 10 hours a day! It just means being there with all your heart and your wish to be and to contribute. If you are being like that, people will remember you.
Kissing and hugging your child, holding your loved ones in your arms, cuddling your dog, really listening to someone, enjoying the presence of someone or even enjoying nature or the breath of wind or a concert or a precious moment: this is what you want in life! This is how you feel alive! And that is what you will regret if you don’t become more focused on the joy in those moments, because you are not guaranteed more moments if you miss them the first time.
Being there more often (or being more conscious when you are) is what matters . . . not that you didn’t manage your to-do list before dying!
The moment when you turned away while you had to be up early or were tired instead of enjoying the presence of your partner for a little while – the touch you could have enjoyed more often – the smile you could have answered more often – the look you could have responded to more often- or even turning around one more time while leaving for a job to see the eyes of those you love. You know exactly what I mean if you are a human being.
I remember when my son was growing up, I went to his bed each night and kissed him in his sleep. I just loved to see him sleeping! Nowadays, when he comes home from studying abroad, I still go to his room and check if he is sleeping and give him a kiss or a just a smile! Or I observe him and follow him with my eyes as long as I see him when he is leaving. In those moments, I am totally happy “being” his mother. It’s those blessed moments that make the harder parenting “stuff” worth it.
BE YOU
As long as there is still time on Earth, make sure you know who you really want to be. Then, be that person as often as you can for yourself and for those you care for.
Also, take time off once in a while to breathe deep, reload, rethink, relax, reconnect with others and yourself and check whether you are aligned with your soul desires and dreams. When you do this, you are better able to make them happen.
If you need support, join us at one of our Kaleidoscope retreats, or let me be your guide to become the amazing, unique, awesome, best being you can be.
Being alive and able to see, hear, feel, touch, and sense is a precious gift. Enjoy and live life to the fullest, because you deserve it!